I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
