who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
