where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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