he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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