My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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