i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
this will be a night to untag.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
