Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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