Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The feeling are messing with the penis
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
