just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
