Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
