So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize