Kiss
Puke
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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