He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
