On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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