Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
