How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Actions speak louder than pants.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
