Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
