we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
