thanks...oh and i got my period
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.