I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad