you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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