I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
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dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
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I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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