Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
