There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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