he was CRYING into my vagina
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
