Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.

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(559): View more from California

i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.

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(251): View more from Alabama

Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.

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(817): View more from Texas

I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands

Fav 15 7458 1997
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.

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(831): View more from California

Yep, you're going to hell.

(1-831): View more from California

I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other

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