so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
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remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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