I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
this will be a night to untag.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
