imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
