After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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