3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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