Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm sobbing to NWA
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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