I heard we made out
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
