false alarm. still invincible.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize