problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
