I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
