Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
