bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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