Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
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So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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