she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize