my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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