Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
