Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
