im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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