I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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