The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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