took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize