It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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