so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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