Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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