I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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