Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
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if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize