actually, I'm a sock model
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
