with your own penis?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
