Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize