I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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