So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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