do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
