She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
