How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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