i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
