Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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