Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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